Burning the House Down and Calling it Journalism

I’m sitting here, chain-smoking something that’s probably illegal in most countries, staring at my screen, and wondering how the hell we let these two-bit, hate-peddling circus freaks – Adam Brooks and Matt Goodwin – keep vomiting their bile onto the airwaves and X feeds of this already rotting country. These GBNews goons are out here playing “journalist” like a couple of drunks pretending they’re surgeons, and the body count’s piling up. Not literal corpses – yet – but the kind of cultural carnage that leaves communities fractured and real people bleeding in the streets while these bastards cash their checks.

Let’s start with Adam Brooks, the far-right’s favourite publican-turned-pundit, a man who’d rather stir a mob than pour a decent pint. This guy’s got a hard-on for hatred so blatant it’s practically a fetish. He’s down in Epping, strutting around some hotel crawling with immigrants, where one guy’s been charged with attacking kids. Now, a real journalist might ask questions: Who’s this suspect? What’s the evidence? How’s the case holding up? But not Brooks. Oh no, this prick’s too busy whipping up a lynch mob, crying about “vile evil immigrants” while claiming he’s “calling for calm.”

Calm? CALM? This fucker’s tossing Molotov cocktails into a powder keg and calling it peacekeeping. He’s out there, microphone in hand, whining about “the future of my children” like he’s the only one who’s ever worried about their kids. Newsflash, Brooks: we’re all scared for the future, but most of us don’t profit by setting the present on fire.

I watched his X videos – because apparently I hate myself – and it’s the same shtick every time. He’s pacing, ranting, pointing fingers at “those people,” painting entire communities as monsters while crocodile tears drip down his face. And when people call him out? When they point out the blood on his hands from inciting this shit? He blocks them. I know, because I did the only Spider thing to do: I went at him. Asked him straight-up: “What’s the deal, Brooks? You in it for the clicks? The cash? Or do you just get off on watching people hate each other? Is this a GBNews contract clause, or are you and Farage jerking each other off in some backroom conspiracy?”

His response? Blocked. Like a coward. Like a man who can’t handle the mirror being held up to his ugly mug. This is the guy whining that MPs shouldn’t block him because “public figures” owe transparency? Hypocrite doesn’t even begin to cover it. He’s a walking contradiction wrapped in a Union Jack, shitting on free speech while crying about his own.

Then there’s Matt Goodwin, the other half of this toxic double act, slinging stats like a street-corner hustler peddling fake Rolexes. His latest gem? “English is no longer the first language for a majority of children in 2,039 schools in the UK.” Sounds scary, right? Sounds like the sky’s falling and the country’s going to hell. Except it’s bullshit. Its a one off quote to drive race hate clickbait. Something he is well know for.

I did what Goodwin apparently never learned to do: I checked the numbers. The UK’s got 32,149 schools, so 2,039 is barely a blip – 6% or so. And “majority”? What’s that mean, Matt? 51%? 99%? Are these kids fluent in English anyway? Are they bilingual, which, last I checked, is a good thing? Are these recent immigrants who’ll be speaking English like natives in a year? He doesn’t say, because details ruin the scare story.

Then there’s the kicker: Wales. Yeah, Wales, where nearly 450 primary schools teach in Welsh. So, what, Goodwin, you calling Welsh an “offensive” language now? Or did you just forget to do your homework because you were too busy race-baiting? And what about the schools themselves? Are they primaries, secondaries, or specialist programs for new arrivals?

Nobody knows, because Goodwin’s not here for truth – he’s here for headlines. Tabloid trash dressed up as analysis. Every post he makes is a dog whistle, a nudge to the worst impulses of the worst people, and GBNews laps it up like it’s their lifeblood.

These two, Brooks and Goodwin, they’re not just clowns – they’re arsonists. They’re lighting fires across this country, profiting off the smoke while real people choke. They’re not held to account because the system’s too busy protecting their “free speech” to notice the mobs they’re building.

I say fuck that. Hold them to a higher standard. Drag them into the light. Make them answer for the hatred they’re sowing. Because if we don’t, the next headline won’t be about blocked X accounts – it’ll be about real blood, real pain, and a country torn apart by their greedy, grinning faces.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a bottle of something strong and a city to scream at. Stay filthy, my friends – Spider Thompson out.