The Great British Fuck-Up: A “Strike” So Shit It Barely Happened

Well, wasn’t that a fucking letdown? You’d think with all the TV cameras, the social media circle-jerk, and the far-right dipshits screaming like banshees, this “national strike”—sorry, “protest,” because apparently they couldn’t even commit to a name—would’ve been a world-shaking shitstorm. They promised 500,000 patriots clogging the streets, bringing every city to its knees. “The people will rise!” they howled, like some budget apocalypse flick. And what did we get? A pathetic dribble of maybe 5,000 mouth-breathers across the whole damn country. I’ve seen bigger crowds at a discount vape shop opening.

This was no strike. This was barely a fart in a windstorm. Some towns had two people show up—two! I’ve had more interesting arguments with my own reflection. The usual fake accounts on X tried to juice it up, posting grainy videos from last year’s protests like we’re all too stupid to notice. Nice try, you bot-running bastards, but nobody’s buying your recycled bullshit. The whole thing was a sad, limp-dick failure, a masterclass in how to look like a complete twat on a national stage.

And get this: there were more cops out there, twiddling their thumbs and waiting for something to kick off, than actual protesters. That’s right—the police outnumbered the “revolution.” What a fucking embarrassment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for protesting. You got something pissing you off? Get your arse on the street, wave a sign, scream your truth. That’s the beauty of free speech, you brain-dead pricks—it’s there for you to use! But don’t tell the far-right that, because they’re still whining that free speech is dead while they’re literally out there proving it’s alive by making fools of themselves.

These “positive action” clowns with their sad little placards and their recycled talking points are running on fumes. Nobody cares anymore. Their arguments are so played out, so riddled with lies and propaganda, that even their own side is yawning. The right’s dying on the vine, their every word exposed as the steaming horseshit it is. And this “strike”? This pathetic non-event on a bank holiday Saturday, when nobody’s working anyway? Pure genius, you absolute muppets. Pick a day everyone’s already off, call it a “strike,” and still fuck it up so bad it’s like you planned to fail.

So here’s to you, you sad, deluded wankers: your big moment flopped harder than a drunk uncle at a wedding. Nobody showed up. Nobody cares. Your “revolution” was a no-show, and all you’ve got left is a pile of lies and some soggy posters. Fuck you all. I’m off to find something actually worth writing about.