GBNews – Circling the drain

“Christ, I feel filthy just letting my eyeballs scrape across this cesspool of a website—these bastards at GBNews have turned ‘digging for the news’ into a full-on autopsy of human stupidity. You’ve got to claw through every rancid corner when you’re chasing the truth, and I’ve been at this game too long to flinch. I’m not young—don’t kid yourself, I’ve shuffled through WH Smiths more times than I’ve had bad acid trips—so yeah, I squinted at their story. Apparently, ‘the retail chain’s planning to sell its high street business without the rights to its brand name.’ Fine, whatever, I kept reading.

But this site? Holy shit, it’s a goddamn advert minefield—the heaviest I’ve seen since the days of pop-up porn ads. Most of ’em are whining for donations, plastering ‘Fearless in defending free speech’ all over the place like it’s a badge of honor. Smells like a cheap nod to that Rees-Mogg clusterfuck from the other day. Free speech, my ass—these clowns think it means they get to wrench any story into whatever warped shape fits their narrative. Truth’s just a punching bag to them.

But that’s not even the full stinking corpse of it. Something else was clawing at me while I waded through this digital landfill. Every single banner—every one—was GBNews shilling their own garbage. Begging for cash, flogging mugs, the works. Self-cannibalism on display—they’re so far underwater they’re choking on their own desperation. Advertisers? Gone. Bolted like rats off a sinking ship.

Then you hit the comments, and it’s like staring into the abyss of a broken toilet. Top two gems? ‘WH Mohammad coming soon,’ says one genius. ‘Buy two copies of the k0ran and get a free explosive vest,’ fires back another. It’s a parade of brain-dead bile—people moaning about how ‘the Nation’s heart’s been ripped out over the last 30 years’ and other steaming piles of nostalgia-wank. I’d laugh if it wasn’t so pathetic.

So what am I ranting about here? GBNews is a festering joke—a racist, hate-spewing propaganda mill that’s less ‘news’ and more a megaphone for angry morons to scream into. Their advertisers are running for the hills, and from what I dug up, they’re bleeding cash—millions down the drain. I suffered through their site, yeah, but the good news? These ass-clowns are circling the drain, and the future’s looking beautifully dim for ’em.”