Listen up, you brain-dead flock of sheeple, bleating your way through the apocalypse while the orange overlord turns science into a punchline – this is Spider Thompson, your chain-smoking, filth-spewing oracle of outrage, hacking up the latest hairball from the White House. Donald Trump, that bloated reality-TV reject who’s somehow clawed his way back into the presidency like a bad sequel nobody asked for, is now playing doctor with autism. Yeah, you heard that right: The man who couldn’t spell “covfefe” is out there blaming Tylenol – fucking Tylenol! – for causing autism in kids if pregnant moms pop it for a headache. And his sidekick, Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr., that anti-vax conspiracy clown, is nodding along like it’s gospel. I can’t believe this shit. How stupid do you have to be to swallow this? And how the hell is Trump president again? We’re doomed, you idiots, doomed to a world where facts die screaming in the gutter.
Let’s dissect this steaming pile of idiocy, shall we? Trump struts out, flanked by his quack squad, unveiling “contentious conclusions” on autism causes. He claims acetaminophen (that’s Tylenol or paracetamol for you overseas rubes) ramps up autism risk when taken during pregnancy. “Don’t take Tylenol. There’s no downside,” he babbles, ignoring mountains of studies that say otherwise. A 2024 Swedish mega-study on 2.4 million births? No link. But no, Trump’s got “recommendations” coming to delay or slash vaccine doses like MMRV and hepatitis B – because why not throw in some classic anti-vax fearmongering while you’re at it? Kennedy chimes in, slamming past NIH research as “politically safe and entirely fruitless,” pushing probes into environmental toxins and vaccines. They’re even hyping leucovorin, a cancer drug, as a potential “cure” for autism’s “multifactorial etiology.
” Autism as an “epidemic”? CDC says diagnoses jumped from 1 in 150 in 2000 to 1 in 31 in 2022 – thanks to better screening and genetics, not some shadowy plot. But these fools want to update Tylenol labels and scare the shit out of parents. Stupid? It’s beyond stupid – it’s dangerous, reckless, and could kill kids by deterring vaccines or needed meds.
Experts are losing their minds, and rightly so. Alison Singer from the Autism Science Foundation calls the Tylenol link “not scientifically based” – no new data, just hot air. Dr. Monique Botha slams it as fearmongering; Dan Jernigan says it’s unsupported bunk. Irva Hertz-Picciotto warns against hyping leucovorin, fearing it’ll erode trust faster than Trump’s spray tan in a rainstorm. This isn’t policy; it’s a grift, peddling pseudoscience to the paranoid while real science weeps in the corner. Trump’s turning the White House into a clown car of quackery, and we’re all along for the ride.
I hate it here, where a twice-impeached, felony-convicted con man gets to play god with public health, spewing idiocy that endangers lives. How the fuck is Trump president again? You voted for this, America – you let the inmates run the asylum. Wake up, or don’t. Let the stupid suggestions pile up until we’re all autistic from the sheer moronity. See if I care.
Spider out.
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