Here I am, choking on the smog of this festering hellscape we call civilization, and I’ve got to write about Stephen Yaxley-Lennon—better known as Tommy Robinson, the far-right anti-Islam loudmouth who’s been clogging up the news like a bad case of digital diarrhoea. The word on the street is that this 42-year-old clown just lost his appeal against an 18-month prison sentence for contempt of court, and I’m supposed to give a damn. Spoiler alert: I don’t. But I’ll tell you the story anyway, because someone has to scrape the filth off the bottom of society’s shoe and shove it in your face.
Let’s rewind. Last October, Yaxley-Lennon got his ass thrown in the slammer for ignoring a court order like it was a parking ticket. The order came after he got his pants sued off in 2021 by a Syrian refugee—a kid, mind you—who he’d smeared in an online video, calling him a violent thug. Surprise, surprise, the kid wasn’t a thug, and Yaxley-Lennon lost the libel case so bad he probably had to sell his megaphone to pay the £100,000 in damages. The court told him to shut his trap and stop repeating the lies, but does he listen? Of course not. This is a man who thinks “free speech” means “I can say whatever the hell I want, even if it’s bullshit.” So, he keeps yapping, even dragging his lies to a rally in Trafalgar Square last year, screaming to anyone who’d listen. He admitted to 10 breaches of the court order, because apparently, he’s too stupid to stop digging his own grave.
Fast forward to this week, and Yaxley-Lennon’s whining to the Court of Appeal, saying his segregation at HMP Woodhill is turning his brain to mush. Boo-fucking-hoo. The guy’s being kept in a closed wing in Milton Keynes, away from the other inmates who’d probably shank him for a pack of smokes, but he’s got a phone, a laptop, and staff to chat with. Sounds like a goddamn holiday compared to the real prison hellholes I’ve seen. He’s claiming it’s wrecking his mental health—says he’s got ADHD and some fancy “complex post-traumatic stress disorder” that the sentencing judge didn’t know about. Cry me a river, pal. You’re a grown man who decided to play martyr for a cause built on lies, and now you’re surprised the system’s chewing you up and spitting you out?
The Court of Appeal—led by Lady Chief Justice Baroness Carr and her cronies, Lord Justice Edis and Lord Justice Warby—didn’t buy his sob story. They tossed his appeal out on Wednesday morning, saying the original judge’s ruling was “meticulous” and the 18-month sentence was spot-on for a dipshit who thinks he’s above the law. The Attorney General’s Office chimed in, all smug and proper, saying the sentence “reflected how gravely the court considers contempt.” Yeah, no kidding. You don’t get to thumb your nose at a court order in front of millions and expect a pat on the back. This is Yaxley-Lennon’s second courtroom ass-kicking in a month—last March, he tried to challenge his segregation, claiming it was some conspiracy to break him. The High Court told him to piss off, pointing out he’s got a “mark on his head” from other inmates, including a lifer who’d love to make him a trophy.
Let’s get one thing straight: Yaxley-Lennon isn’t a hero, and he’s not a victim. He’s a former English Defence League thug who built a career on hating Muslims and stirring up trouble. He’s from Luton, a place that’s probably ashamed to claim him, and he’s been peddling his anti-Islam garbage for years—first with the EDL, then on every far-right platform that’ll have him. He’s the kind of guy who’d scream “free speech” while punching you in the face for disagreeing with him. But here’s the rub: the system he’s fighting isn’t exactly pure as the driven snow either. These courts, with their high-and-mighty judges and their precious “rule of law,” are just as much a part of the machine that grinds us all down. They’ll lock you up for contempt faster than you can say “double standard,” but let the real crooks—the ones in suits, running the banks and the governments—walk free with a wink and a nod.
So where does that leave us? Yaxley-Lennon’s rotting in Woodhill, probably plotting his next stunt, while the courts pat themselves on the back for upholding justice. Meanwhile, the world keeps spinning, and we’re all a little dumber for having to hear about this nonsense. If there’s a lesson here, it’s this: don’t be a moron. If a court tells you to shut up, maybe don’t go screaming the same lies to a crowd in Trafalgar Square. And if you’re gonna pick a fight with the system, at least make sure your cause isn’t built on quicksand. Me? I’ll be over here, chain-smoking and watching the world burn, because someone’s gotta keep an eye on this circus.
Spider Thompson, out.
+ There are no comments
Add yours