The Great Two-Tier Tantrum

This is it, you brain-dead, flag-waving morons – the far-right’s latest meltdown, served up hot and rancid like a grease fire in a dumpster. Lucy Connolly, their darling little martyr, is screaming her lungs out from the ashes of her own dumbass decisions. Thirty-one months in the slammer for a tweet that basically screamed, “BURN THE ASYLUM HOTELS!” Oh, she’s wailing now, crying “free speech” like it’s a magic spell to undo her own idiocy. And the frothing mob behind her? They’re howling about “two-tier justice,” clutching their pearls like the world’s ending because their poster girl got what she deserved.

Let’s cut through the bullshit, shall we? This ain’t about Keir Starmer or some shadowy cabal rigging the courts. Connolly pled guilty. Guilty. She stood up, said, “Yeah, I did it,” and the judge followed the sentencing guidelines like it’s just another Tuesday. No conspiracy, no “two-tier” nonsense – just a woman who admitted she fucked up and got slapped for it. Clean. Simple. Done.

Now, let’s talk about Ricky, the other clown in this circus. This guy’s out there at a rally, ranting about slitting far-right throats, complete with a finger-across-the-neck mime like he’s auditioning for a bad gangster flick. He pleads not guilty, rolls the dice, and gets a jury of regular schmucks like you and me. And guess what? They say, “Not guilty.” Poof! He’s back on the streets, probably laughing his ass off. Free speech? Hell yeah, it’s alive and kicking for him.

So what’s the difference? It’s not Starmer, you conspiracy-addled muppets. It’s not politics or some deep-state plot. It’s strategy, plain and simple. Lucy threw herself on the mercy of the court and got crushed. Ricky fought, got a jury, and walked. The lesson? Plead guilty, and you’re on the express train to Cellblock D. Plead not guilty, and you might just roll a lucky seven with a jury too bored or confused to care.

This is the real scam, you idiots. The justice system’s a slot machine, and the house always wins unless you play the game right. Connolly could’ve rolled the dice, maybe walked like Ricky. But no, she folded like a cheap suit and now cries “injustice.” Two-tier? Sure, there’s tiers – Tier 1: admit you’re a dumbass and eat the sentence. Tier 2: fight it and maybe skate. It’s not politics, it’s tactics. And you lot are too busy screaming about Starmer to see it.

So here I am, perched in my filthy apartment, chain-smoking and cackling at the hypocrisy eating itself alive. The far-right’s out there, clutching their pitchforks, whining about a system that’s just doing what systems do – grind people up who play it wrong. Wake up, you clowns. The only thing burning here is your own goddamn narrative. I’m just here with my popcorn, watching the ashes fall.

Spider Thompson, signing off, still laughing.