I needed a fucking break, you miserable bastards. I’ve had enough of the far-right pricks on Twitter spewing their racist garbage, Labour’s promises turning to ash, and people swallowing Reform’s lies like it’s gospel. I’ve seen enough bullshit this year to last a lifetime, so I fucked off to Tenerife for some peace. Guess what? The bullshit followed me.
Back in the UK, those lying fuckwads at Reach Media and every other news outlet are screaming about 12-meter waves battering northern Tenerife. They’re painting it like a goddamn apocalypse—waves the size of skyscrapers, ready to swallow the island whole. I’m sitting here in Puerto de la Cruz, sipping some weird-ass drink that tastes like regret, and I’m looking at the sea. It’s choppy, sure, but 12 meters? Fuck off. It’s more like 1 meter. The dogs are still swimming, locals are taking a dip, and the surfers are grinning like idiots because they finally have waves to ride. I asked the guy who served me this poison, and he just shrugged. “Pretty normal,” he said. Normal. You hear that, you fearmongering hacks?
The media lied. Again. They copy each other’s bullshit, and it spreads like a virus. For once, Twitter didn’t pick up the story—guess it wasn’t racist enough for the cesspool crew to care. No brown people to blame, so Rupert Lowe couldn’t write a letter to the Home Office about it. No scapegoat, no “news.” Just another day of the media jerking off to their own fabricated panic while the truth sits here, sipping a drink, watching dogs paddle in the sea.
Fuck the media. Fuck their lies. I’m staying here until the waves actually get interesting—or until the next load of bullshit drags me back into the fight.
Spider Thompson, signing off.
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