Oh, shit, here we go again: Two-tier justice and the brain-dead mob

Buckle up, you filthy animals, because the far-right shit-stains are at it again, howling “Two-Tier Justice” like it’s some sacred chant they ripped from the ass-end of a conspiracy pamphlet. These mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging cretins have their knickers in a twist, and I’m stuck here watching the circus, torn between laughing at their stupidity and wanting to claw my eyes out with a rusty spoon.

Let’s get one thing straight before the drool hits the floor: the “Two-Tier-Keir” brigade—those proud little fuckwits clogging up X with their ALL-CAPS tantrums—don’t have a goddamn clue what they’re on about. They’re screaming Starmer’s name like he’s personally jailing their nan for stealing a Mars bar. Newsflash, you brain-dead stains on humanity: the Prime Minister doesn’t squat over the Sentencing Council and shit out their guidelines. That’s an independent body, you ignorant pricks. Non-departmental, look it up—if you can even spell it. This has fuck-all to do with Labour or Starmer, but do they check? Do they even think? No, they just see a shiny excuse to fling their feces and call it a revolution. “We must get rid of Labour now!” they bleat, like Starmer’s the one spiking their warm beer with woke juice. Morons.

But here’s the kicker, the little shard of truth buried in their steaming pile of nonsense: the sentencing guidelines? Yeah, they’re a mess. Not “two-tier”—more like ten-tier, twenty-tier, a whole goddamn skyscraper of tiers built on quicksand. It’s a festering swamp of “ist” bullshit—sexist, racist, ageist, pregnantist, carerist, transgenderist, addictist, disablist, you name it, they’ve got an “ist” for it. Then they toss in a laundry list of sob stories: groomed? Slave? Domestic abuse? Trafficking? “Oh, and this isn’t even exhaustive,” they say, like it’s a fucking buffet of excuses. If you’re a straight white guy—born with a dick, still got it, no identity crisis, no kids to wipe snot off—you’re screwed. Bend over, mate, the system’s got a special boot polished just for you.

And that’s where I start twitching. Because the knuckle-draggers are wrong—dead wrong—to pin this on Starmer’s shiny forehead, but the guidelines themselves? They’re a steaming pile of hypocritical horseshit. Why the fuck should someone from an “ethnic minority, cultural minority, and/or faith minority community” get a lighter slap on the wrist? Why should a woman get less time than a man for the same crime? Or a pregnant chick? “Oh, you stabbed three people, but you’ve got a bun in the oven, so here’s six months suspended and a pat on the head.” It’s insane. It’s stupid. It’s a neon sign screaming “equality’s a myth, suckers.”

So here we are: the far-right thick-fucks are raging at the wrong target, as usual, jerking off to their own outrage while missing the point entirely. But the point they’re missing? It’s still a shit-show. A system so tangled in its own bleeding-heart knots it can’t see straight. I’d laugh, but I’m too busy choking on the stench.

This is Spider, signing off. Go fuck yourselves.