Netflix’s Free Hype Men: You Dumb Bastards Played Yourselves

I crawl back from a rare, sweet little escape – somewhere far from this cesspool-and what do I find? The same steaming pile of bullshit, stinking up the joint like I never left. Same circus, same brain-dead clowns juggling their own ignorance. But holy fuck, Netflix deserves a standing ovation. Those sneaky bastards pulled off a magic trick Houdini would’ve killed for-getting you drooling morons to shill their show harder than a street preacher with a megaphone and a hard-on for salvation. You whining dipshits, clutching your pearls over Adolescence, screaming it’s Axel’s Southport story with a whitewash paint job-did you even stop to think you’re just unpaid hype men? Netflix couldn’t buy this kind of buzz with a truckload of cash, but you handed it to them on a silver platter, you absolute suckers.

Let’s break it down for you mouth-breathers, since apparently timelines are harder to read than a dead hooker’s diary. Adolescence gets cooked up in 2023-Netflix swoops in like a vulture by late ’23. Filming kicks off March ’24, wraps by September. Now, Southport—that sick fuck who carved up the world? That was July 29th, 2024. Do the fucking math, you illiterate pricks. Unless you think Netflix has a goddamn time machine parked next to their craft services table, your ‘ripped-off’ plot theory is dumber than a bag of hammers. But you’ve been screeching so loud about it, you turned this show into the biggest free ad campaign in history. Billboards? Commercials? Fuck that-your unhinged rants did the job for free.

Congrats, you dumb cunts-you played yourselves. Netflix is laughing all the way to the bank, and you’re out here looking like the world’s saddest clowns, honking your own noses in the mirror.