Category: Dispatches
My stories? Fuck your neat little boxes, but if I’ve gotta slap a label on this raging beast, call it ‘Truth Porn.’ Yeah, that’s it—raw, filthy, in-your-face dispatches from the rotting guts of this world. Not politics, not economics, not some pansy-ass ‘social commentary’—it’s the unfiltered howl of reality, stripped naked and screaming, with all the hypocrisy, greed, and bullshit laid bare for you drooling morons to choke on. Category? It’s me kicking the universe in the teeth and daring it to bite back.
Britcard Bollocks – Not the End of the World, You Paranoid Pricks
I hate it here, where every policy tweak sparks a meltdown from the tinfoil brigade. Right-wingers, if you’re so scared of surveillance, ditch your smartphones, your social media, your loyalty cards – they’re already spying on you, you idiots.
Trump’s Tylenol Tantrum and the Autism Pseudoscience Circus – How the Hell Is This Moron President Again?
Listen up, you brain-dead flock of sheeple, bleating your way through the apocalypse while the orange overlord turns science into a punchline – this is [Read More…]
Are X’s Days Numbered? Oh, You Bet Your Sweaty Ass They are
Newsflash, Elon: History’s littered with the corpses of assholes like you. Oligarchs who poked the bear one too many times and ended up as bear shit.
The Filthy Truth: How the Boot on America’s Throat Just Got a Little Tighter
Listen up, you drooling masses, because I’m about to shove the jagged pill of reality down your collective gullet. It’s me, Spider Thompson, your favourite [Read More…]
Pop-Punk Nostalgia Assault: How Busted and McFly Dragged My Filthy Soul Back to the Aughts and Made Me Question My Life Choices
Alright, you pathetic nostalgia junkies, gather ’round while I spit the truth about last Tuesday night, when my ball-and-chain – affectionately known as Mrs. Spider [Read More…]
The Twin Turds of British Bigotry: Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson
Listen up, you snivelling sacks of regret, because I’m about to drag two of the foulest stains on the Union Jack through the digital mud: Nigel Farage and Tommy Robinson.
The Filthy Truth About Yesterday’s Pathetic Ego-Wank
The Filthy Truth About Yesterday’s Pathetic Ego-Wank Listen up, you degenerate sacks of meat and misinformation, this is Spider Thompson crawling out of my filthy [Read More…]
Wake The Fuck Up, You Blind Meatbags: While You’re Jerking Off To The Political Shitshow, The Robots Had Their Own Goddamn Olympics.
But while we’ve all been distracted by this carnival of corruption, something far more sinister has slipped right under our collective radar: our metallic replacements just threw their own goddamn Olympics, and it’s a screaming neon sign that the Terminator apocalypse is knocking on the door.
Farage’s Tax-Dodging Circus: The Smarmy Bastards Guide to Fucking the Country While Grinning Like a Greedy Weasel
Alright, you rancid pack of gutter-scrapings, here’s your daily brain-fuck courtesy of the truth: All those slack-jawed, oxygen-wasting Farage cultists are bleating that there’s jack [Read More…]
The Great Immigration Hoax: How your Clickbait Overlords are Shoving Bullshit Down Your Throats, and the Numbers Prove it
Frog-faced demagogues like that slimy Farage prick wave their tiny fists, promising to “stop the boats” while pocketing your fear for votes. And you lap it up, you pathetic sheep, bleating about the “crisis” that’s supposedly turning your green and pleasant land into a refugee camp apocalypse.